Evaluate Options

A useful problem-solving sequence is:

1. Define the problem
2. Identify the goal
3. Brainstorm possible solutions
4. Evaluate the options
5. Choose what to try
6. Put it into action
7. Evaluate what happened

Keeping brainstorming and evaluation separate matters.

During brainstorming, you are trying to expand possibilities.

During evaluation, you deliberately narrow them.

In DBT Problem Solving, after brainstorming, you choose a solution that:

• Fits the goal
• Is likely to work

If more than one solution looks promising, Pros and Cons can help compare them.

Evaluate Options expands that same step into a patient-friendly checklist for comparing choices.

Before comparing solutions, remind yourself:

“What am I actually trying to accomplish?”

An option may sound appealing but fail to address the real goal.

Suppose the problem is:

“My roommate keeps leaving shared spaces dirty.”

Your goal might be:

“Create a workable agreement about cleaning.”

An option such as:

“Give them the silent treatment”

might express anger, but it may not move toward the stated goal.

If you cannot tell which option is better, the problem may be that you have not decided what matters most.

For example:

“Am I trying to preserve this relationship, protect a boundary, resolve the immediate disagreement, or all three?”

Clarifying the goal can make the options easier to compare.

Ask:

“If I do this, does it increase the chance of getting what I am trying to achieve?”

You do not need certainty.

Most decisions involve some uncertainty.

An action may feel satisfying in the moment without helping the larger problem.

For example:

“Sending an angry message might feel relieving right now, but will it help me resolve the conflict?”

Short-term relief is relevant.

It is not the only consequence to consider.

You may repeatedly choose the same response because:

• It is familiar
• It is fast
• It requires less uncertainty

Ask:

“How has this actually worked in similar situations?”

Past results can provide useful evidence.

Consider whether the option requires:

• Money you do not have
• More time than is available
• Permission you cannot obtain
• Skills you do not currently have
• Someone else's cooperation
• Physical capacity you do not have

That does not always mean you must reject the idea.

It may need modification.

Suppose:

“Take the class”

seems like the best option, but transportation is a barrier.

Ask:

“Is there a transportation solution?”

Maybe:

• Online attendance
• Public transportation
• Carpooling
• A different class time

Sometimes the best option becomes workable by solving a smaller obstacle.

An option may be:

• Uncomfortable
• Time-consuming
• Anxiety-provoking
• Inconvenient

and still be possible.

Ask:

“Is this truly unrealistic, or is it something difficult that I might be able to do with preparation or support?”

Consider:

• Time
• Money
• Effort
• Energy
• Schedule
• Other responsibilities

An option that works but creates an unsustainable burden may not be the best long-term choice.

Consider whether the option is likely to create:

• Relief
• Anxiety
• Guilt
• Resentment
• Pride
• Regret

Emotional consequences matter, but discomfort does not automatically mean an option is wrong.

Sometimes the most effective choice is emotionally difficult.

Ask whether the option significantly affects:

• Sleep
• Physical health
• Stress
• Recovery
• Safety

These effects belong in the decision too.

Depending on the decision, consider effects on:

• Partner
• Family
• Friends
• Coworkers
• Roommates
• Other people who depend on you

Other people's reactions are relevant information.

They are not automatically the deciding factor.

A healthy boundary, for example, may upset someone and still be the appropriate choice.

Ask:

“What are the actual effects, and how much weight should they have?”

Someone being:

• Disappointed
• Frustrated
• Unhappy with your decision

is not always the same as you harming them.

Evaluate the real consequence rather than assuming all negative reactions carry the same weight.

Short-term consequences might include:

• Immediate relief
• Conflict
• Time saved
• Money spent
• Anxiety
• Convenience

Long-term consequences might include:

• Whether the problem returns
• Effects on a relationship
• Future workload
• Financial effects
• Health effects
• Whether the choice supports your larger goals

Example:

“Avoid the difficult phone call.”

Short term:

less anxiety right now.

Long term:

the unresolved problem may grow.

Both consequences belong in the evaluation.

Example:

“Have an honest conversation.”

Short term:

anxiety and discomfort.

Long term:

clearer expectations and less ongoing resentment.

An uncomfortable consequence is not automatically a reason to reject an option.

Two options may be similarly effective.

Values can help distinguish them.

Ask:

“Which option is more consistent with how I want to handle this?”

You may care about:

• Honesty
• Connection
• Self-respect
• Responsibility

and find that a decision affects several of them differently.

The question may become:

“Which values are most relevant in this situation, and what balance can I live with?”

During brainstorming, evaluation was deliberately delayed.

Now screen out options that are clearly:

• Dangerous
• Abusive
• Illegal
• Impossible
• Outside your control
• Unrelated to the goal

You do not have to analyze obviously unacceptable options in great detail.

An option may be:

• Fast
• Cheap
• Convenient

and still not be appropriate if it creates serious danger or harm.

Safety is not simply another minor item in a scoring system.

Option:

“Make my partner agree with me.”

That outcome is not entirely under your control.

A more workable option might be:

“Explain my position clearly, listen to theirs, and ask whether we can find a compromise.”

Their final response remains theirs.

An option does not need to be completely independent.

Many reasonable solutions involve:

• Asking
• Negotiating
• Seeking assistance
• Applying

Just recognize which part is yours and which part depends on someone else.

You are estimating:

• What is likely to happen
• What might go wrong
• What benefits might occur

Those predictions can be useful without being perfect.

Almost any option has something that could go badly.

Ask:

“How likely is that consequence?”

rather than treating:

“This could happen”

as:

“This will happen.”

Check the Facts can help when fear is driving the prediction.

If uncertainty is high and the decision is reversible, you may be able to test a smaller version first.

Example:

Instead of:

“Commit to this activity for the next year,”

try:

“Try it for two weeks and evaluate how it goes.”

Examples:

• Trying a new schedule
• Testing a different study strategy
• Changing the order of household tasks

If the choice does not work, you can often change it.

Decisions involving major:

• Financial commitments
• Career changes
• Legal consequences
• Health decisions
• Relationship consequences

may justify:

• More information
• Professional advice
• More time
• More careful comparison

Match the amount of analysis to the importance and reversibility of the choice.

Suppose you are comparing two treatment, insurance, school, or work options, but do not know an important detail.

Your next step may be:

“Get the missing information.”

Instead of:

“I need to research more,”

ask:

“What specific fact would change how I compare these options?”

Then look for that information.

At some point, further research may stop changing the decision.

Ask:

“Am I missing information that matters, or am I delaying the decision because uncertainty feels uncomfortable?”

For each option, write:

• Goal: How well does it address the problem?
• Feasibility: Can I actually do it?
• Short term: What happens soon?
• Long term: What happens later?
• Me: What are the effects on me?
• Others: What are the effects on other people?

Using the same questions makes comparison easier.

A simple:

• Strong fit
• Mixed
• Poor fit

may be enough.

Or use:

• +
• Neutral
• −

The purpose is to make your reasoning visible, not create mathematical precision that does not really exist.

One option may involve:

“I have to drive 15 minutes farther.”

Another may involve:

“I cannot afford the monthly cost.”

Counting both as one “con” would hide an important difference.

Consider:

“How important is this consequence?”

Some criteria may be required.

For example:

• Must fit within a budget
• Must be physically accessible
• Must meet an external deadline
• Must not create an unacceptable safety risk

An option that fails a necessary requirement may be eliminated even if it has several other advantages.

Suppose your options are:

Option A: Ask for help.

Option B: Reduce the amount of work.

You may decide:

“Ask for help with one part and reduce a lower-priority part.”

Combining solutions can sometimes address weaknesses in each individual option.

More actions are not automatically better.

A combined solution should still be:

• Realistic
• Understandable
• Focused on the goal

Otherwise you may turn a simple problem into an overly complicated plan.

When angry, you may give extra weight to an option that expresses anger.

When anxious, you may give extra weight to whichever option removes anxiety fastest.

When ashamed, you may automatically choose the option that asks the least of other people.

Notice the emotion without assuming it should make the entire decision.

If you are too activated to compare options fairly, pause.

Skills such as:

• Wise Mind
• Breathing
• Grounding
• TIPP
• Check the Facts

may help before returning to the decision.

You may repeatedly:

• Add another criterion
• Research another detail
• Recalculate the same tradeoff
• Ask another person's opinion

without meaningfully changing the comparison.

Ask:

“What important question remains unanswered?”

If you cannot identify one, it may be time to choose.

A good decision can still have an uncertain outcome.

You may need to choose based on:

the best information currently available.

Waiting for complete certainty can make some decisions impossible.

Sometimes two options have different strengths and neither clearly wins.

That does not mean you evaluated incorrectly.

The situation may genuinely involve a close decision.

Instead of comparing every detail again, ask:

“What is the most important difference between these options?”

That difference may reveal the decision.

If both options are reasonable and easy to change, you may choose one, test it, and evaluate the result.

Problem solving does not always require predicting the winner before any action occurs.

You might ask:

“Is there anything important about these options that I seem to be overlooking?”

This invites useful input without requiring the other person to decide for you.

Some decisions benefit from:

• Professional expertise
• Experience with the issue
• Knowledge of practical constraints

Choose the source of advice based on what you actually need to know.

Once you understand the major options and consequences, repeatedly asking new people may add preferences rather than useful information.

At some point, return to:

“Given what I know, which option fits my situation?”

Your chosen option may still have:

• Costs
• Risks
• Effort
• Uncertainty
• Uncomfortable emotions

Ask whether, taken together, it is the most workable available choice.

Choosing an option does not always mean:

“This is my permanent solution.”

It may mean:

“This is the option that makes the most sense to try first.”

You can evaluate the outcome and revise later.

Suppose you decide:

“The best option is to ask my supervisor for an extension.”

You still need to determine:

• How you will ask
• When you will ask
• What information you need
• What the first step is

This is where Identify the Next Small Step, Scheduling, or Coping Ahead can help.

Once you have:

• Generated reasonable options
• Compared them
• Chosen a workable one

repeatedly reconsidering the entire decision can prevent action.

Reopen it when:

• Important new information appears
• The option proves unworkable
• Circumstances change

You can make a reasonable choice based on the available information and still get an outcome you did not want.

Uncertainty, chance, and other people's actions may affect what happens.

Ask:

“Given what I knew at the time, was this a reasonable choice?”

separately from:

“Did I get the outcome I wanted?”

Both questions matter, but they are different.

After trying the option, ask:

• What happened?
• Which predictions were accurate?
• What did I not anticipate?
• Did it help the goal?
• Should I continue, adjust, or try something else?

Problem solving is iterative.

Problem:

“I cannot finish everything by Friday.”

Options:

• Stay up all night
• Ask for an extension
• Ask which tasks are highest priority
• Reduce a less important commitment

Evaluate:

• Which choices actually address the deadline?
• Which are possible?
• What happens to sleep?
• What are the academic or work consequences?
• Can any solutions be combined?

Problem:

“I'm upset about something my partner keeps doing.”

Possible options:

• Ignore it
• Bring it up immediately while angry
• Wait until calmer and talk about it
• Make a specific request
• Set a boundary

Evaluate each based on:

• Your actual goal
• Likely effect on the relationship
• Short-term discomfort
• Long-term consequences
• Your self-respect

Options:

• Try to do everything
• Drop one lower-priority activity
• Ask someone for help
• Move one deadline
• Do a smaller version of one task

Consider:

• Which tasks are genuinely required?
• Which consequences matter most?
• What happens if nothing changes?
• What can realistically be modified?

Goal:

“Feel less isolated.”

Options:

• Text an old friend
• Join a group
• Attend a class
• Volunteer
• Ask someone to meet for coffee

Evaluate:

• Which is realistic?
• Which provides repeated opportunities for connection?
• What feels challenging but possible?
• What fits your interests?

For each option, answer:

1. Will this help me reach my goal?
2. Can I realistically carry it out?
3. What are the short- and long-term effects on me?
4. What are the short- and long-term effects on other people?

Then compare the answers.

For each option, rate:

Goal: Strong / Mixed / Poor

Feasibility: Strong / Mixed / Poor

Consequences: Strong / Mixed / Poor

Values: Strong / Mixed / Poor

Look at the overall pattern.

Do not treat it as a mechanical scoring formula.

Divide a page into:

Short Term

and:

Long Term

For each option, list likely consequences in both columns.

Notice whether immediate relief is hiding a later cost or immediate discomfort is hiding a later benefit.

For each option, ask:

“What are the likely effects on me?”

and:

“What are the likely effects on other people?”

Then decide how much weight each effect deserves.

Write down anything an acceptable option absolutely needs.

Examples:

• Within budget
• Safe
• Possible before the deadline
• Accessible

Screen each option against those requirements.

Ask:

“What one fact, if I knew it, would make this decision easier?”

If that information is available, make gathering it your next step.

Identify the option that looks strongest overall.

Then ask:

“What is its biggest weakness?”

and:

“Can I change the plan to reduce that weakness?”

Example:

Best option: Ask for help.

Weakness: You do not know exactly what help to request.

Modification: Identify one specific task to ask someone to take.

Before evaluating, decide what would mean you have enough information.

For example:

“Once I know the cost, schedule, and cancellation policy, I will choose.”

This can help prevent endless research.

That is often true.

Ask:

“Which tradeoff is most acceptable?”

The goal is not a consequence-free option.

It is the strongest overall available choice.

Write the criteria down instead of reconsidering them from memory.

Ask whether:

• New information appeared
• Your priorities changed
• Or anxiety is repeatedly reopening the decision

If nothing important changed, consider acting on the choice you already made.

Advice can be useful.

Ask others for:

• Information
• Consequences you may have missed
• Their experience

Then return to:

“Which option fits my goals and circumstances?”

Ease is a legitimate factor.

But also ask:

“Does the easiest option actually address the problem?”

An easy ineffective choice may simply delay the problem.

Difficulty is not proof that an option is better.

Ask:

“Does the extra difficulty produce an important benefit?”

If not, a simpler solution may be more effective.

Some decisions have a clearly better answer.

Others involve multiple reasonable options.

In those situations, the goal may be:

“Choose a reasonable option based on what I know.”

rather than:

“Prove which option is objectively correct.”

Ask:

“What information am I looking for, and how would it change my decision?”

If you cannot answer, further research may not be improving the evaluation.

Return to problem solving.

Ask:

• Was the problem defined correctly?
• Did I have enough options?
• Were my predictions accurate?
• Was the plan carried out?
• Should I modify the option or try another?

An unsuccessful attempt can provide information for the next decision.

Brainstorming asks:

“What could I do?”

During brainstorming, judgment is deliberately postponed so you can generate variety.

Evaluate Options asks:

“Which of these choices is most workable?”

Now you deliberately use judgment to compare:

• Effectiveness
• Feasibility
• Consequences
• Fit

Evaluate Options includes questions such as:

• Does it meet the goal?
• Can I carry it out?
• Is it safe?
• What are the consequences?
• Is important information missing?

Pros and Cons helps examine positive and negative consequences more systematically.

It can be used inside the broader process of evaluating options.

It asks whether each option is workable overall given your goal, circumstances, and likely consequences.

Cost-Benefit Analysis asks:

“What do I gain and what do I give up with this choice?”

It can be especially useful when the main difficulty is weighing competing advantages and disadvantages.

It helps organize:

• Facts
• Consequences
• Practical limitations
• Goals

A decision can look good on a spreadsheet while something important still feels unresolved.

Wise Mind can help integrate:

• Reasonable information
• Emotional information
• Values
• Your understanding of the whole situation

The skills can be used together.

Problem Solving includes:

• Defining the problem
• Setting a goal
• Brainstorming
• Evaluating
• Choosing
• Acting
• Reviewing the outcome

Use it after you have generated several possibilities and need to decide what is worth trying.