Deliberate Savoring

You may notice something pleasant without really taking it in.

For example:

“This coffee tastes good.”

and then immediately return to scrolling through your phone.

Savoring adds a small pause:

“This actually tastes really good. I'm going to enjoy it for a moment.”

You allow the experience a little more time and attention.

Savoring does not mean pretending everything is okay.

You can be having a difficult day and still notice:

“This shower feels good.”

or:

“I'm glad this person is here with me.”

A positive moment does not cancel out a painful one.

Both can exist at the same time.

You do not need an amazing day in order to savor something.

Possible moments include:

• Getting into a comfortable bed
• Hearing a song you like
• A pet greeting you
• Finishing a chore
• The first cool breeze after a hot day
• Someone making you laugh
• A meal turning out well
• Having a quiet moment to yourself

Ordinary experiences may be easier to savor because they happen more often.

Savoring is not about holding onto a pleasant feeling forever.

Positive emotions naturally change just like difficult emotions do.

The goal is simply to give the experience your attention while it is happening.

You can appreciate:

“This feels good right now.”

without needing it to continue indefinitely.

Give the experience a few more seconds than you normally would.

Instead of immediately moving on after something pleasant happens, pause.

You might tell yourself:

“Wait. I want to enjoy this for a second.”

Bring your attention to the details of the experience.

Notice:

• What you can see
• What you can hear
• What you can smell
• What you can taste
• What you can physically feel

For example, while eating something you enjoy, notice the temperature, texture, flavor, and smell rather than eating on autopilot.

Pay attention to what the experience brings up emotionally.

Maybe you feel:

• Content
• Relieved
• Interested
• Connected
• Proud
• Amused
• Grateful
• Excited

You do not need a strong emotion.

Even:

“This is kind of nice.”

is something you can savor.

Silently describe what you appreciate.

For example:

• “I really like how warm the sun feels.”
• “I'm proud that I finished this.”
• “I'm having a good time with these people.”
• “I'm relieved that this is finally done.”

Putting the experience into words can help you stay with it a little longer.

Sharing a positive experience can be another way to savor it.

You might:

• Tell someone good news
• Send a photo
• Point out something funny
• Tell someone you enjoyed spending time with them
• Celebrate an accomplishment together

Sharing does not have to turn the experience into a big event.

Sometimes saying:

“That was really nice.”

is enough.

During a meaningful or enjoyable moment, deliberately notice details you would like to remember later.

Ask:

• Where am I?
• Who is here?
• What am I feeling?
• What do I want to remember about this?

You do not need to literally take a photograph.

The idea is simply to give the moment enough attention that it has a chance to become a meaningful memory.

Accomplishments can pass quickly when your mind immediately moves to:

“What's next?”

After doing something difficult, pause and recognize it.

Try:

“That took effort, and I did it.”

You can acknowledge an accomplishment without exaggerating it or comparing yourself with anyone else.

This is the simplest form: notice something positive while it is happening.

For example:

“I'm sitting outside, the weather feels good, and I have nowhere I need to be for the next half hour.”

Let yourself experience that moment before moving on.

Anticipation can also be enjoyable.

If something positive is coming up, allow yourself to look forward to it.

You might imagine:

• What you are excited about
• Who will be there
• What you hope to enjoy
• What you are looking forward to most

Try to enjoy the anticipation without requiring the future event to happen perfectly.

Think about something enjoyable or meaningful that has already happened.

Rather than only remembering the basic facts, return to some of the details.

Ask:

• What was happening?
• Who was there?
• What made the moment meaningful?
• What did I feel?
• What do I still appreciate about it?

The goal is not to live in the past. It is to allow a positive experience from the past to still have some value in the present.

Imagine that you finally finish a task you have been putting off.

Normally you might immediately think:

“Okay, now I need to do the next thing.”

Instead, pause for 20 seconds.

Look at the finished task.

Notice the relief in your body.

Remind yourself:

“I really didn't want to do that, and I got it done anyway.”

Then continue with your day.

Savoring does not require a celebration. You simply gave the accomplishment enough attention for your brain to register that something went well.

For the first few bites or sips, put down other distractions if possible.

Notice:

• Flavor
• Temperature
• Texture
• Smell
• What you enjoy about it

During a good moment with someone, briefly notice:

“I'm enjoying being here with this person.”

Give your attention to the interaction instead of immediately thinking about what comes next.

Notice something around you that you genuinely like.

Maybe it is:

• The temperature
• The sky
• Trees or plants
• Birds
• The smell after rain
• The quiet

Stay with it for a moment rather than simply registering that it is there.

When you complete something, resist the urge to immediately dismiss it.

Take a moment to recognize:

• What you did
• What effort it took
• What is different because you finished it

This pairs especially well with Build Mastery.

Relief is easy to overlook because attention often moves immediately toward the next problem.

When something difficult ends, pause.

Notice:

“I don't have to deal with that anymore.”

or:

“For right now, this is okay.”

Whenever you notice something pleasant, stay with it for another 20 seconds.

During that time:

• Look at it
• Listen to it
• Feel it
• Describe what you like about it

Then move on.

At the end of the day, think of one moment you enjoyed or appreciated.

It does not need to be the “best” moment.

Spend a minute remembering:

• What happened
• What you liked about it
• How you felt

When something goes well, tell someone who is likely to respond supportively.

This might be:

• A small accomplishment
• Something funny
• A good meal
• A compliment you received
• Something you are looking forward to

Sharing the experience gives you another opportunity to enjoy it.

When something enjoyable happens, try spending a brief period experiencing it before photographing, posting, or checking anything else.

You can still take a picture afterward.

The experiment is simply:

“What happens if I experience this first?”

Choose one activity you already do every day, such as:

• Drinking your morning coffee or tea
• Walking outside
• Eating dinner
• Showering
• Getting into bed

Use that activity as a reminder to deliberately notice one pleasant part of the experience.

Something good happens and your mind immediately says:

“Yeah, but what if it doesn't last?”

You do not have to solve the future before experiencing the present.

Try:

“Maybe it won't last forever. It's still good right now.”

You may notice yourself saying:

• “It's not a big deal.”
• “Anyone could do that.”
• “It could have been better.”
• “I just got lucky.”

You do not have to turn something small into something huge.

Try simply allowing:

“This was good.”

An accomplishment can quickly become less satisfying when it turns into:

“But they did better.”

Try returning to your own experience:

“What does this accomplishment mean for me?”

Savoring is not a command to feel happy.

You might deliberately notice a pleasant experience and feel only a little enjoyment.

That is enough.

Try noticing what is actually there rather than trying to manufacture a stronger feeling.

Sometimes people feel as though enjoying something means they are ignoring a problem or disrespecting something painful.

Enjoying one moment does not mean everything else is okay.

You can care about something difficult and still allow yourself moments of pleasure, relief, connection, or comfort.

Savoring focuses on experiencing a positive moment more fully.

You might think:

“This meal tastes great. I want to slow down and enjoy it.”

Gratitude focuses more on appreciating something you value or have received.

You might think:

“I'm grateful that someone took the time to make this meal.”

A single experience can include both.

You might be dealing with something painful and still:

• Laugh at something funny
• Enjoy a meal
• Feel comforted by someone
• Appreciate being outside
• Feel proud of something you accomplished

Noticing those moments does not minimize what is difficult.

It simply allows positive experiences to exist alongside the difficult ones.